99 Problems But, My Husband Ain’t One

A lot of women say they have the best husband ever. I’m gonna be completely cliché and go with that exact same sentiment.

I have been extremely emotional this weekend. As I mentioned in one of my previous posts, I have been at home with the kids a lot lately due to my husband’s business travel. I read a pin on Pinterest the other day that said, “A strong woman can handle a busy man…” and I didn’t really know how to take that.

My husband, Jon, and I have been together for almost three years. We’ve been through a lot in those three years and I knew from the get-go that I was going to have to deal with his traveling. Anxious as I might be, I keep myself busy exercising, cleaning, and taking care of the kids. The 3-4 days that he is normally gone, usually go by pretty quickly. But, this weekend, I have specifically been dreading this week’s upcoming trip.

As a couple, and as friends (to each other and others), we have been going through numerous changes. Especially since our youngest was born, have we been feeling the effects of isolation and finding contentment and solace in each other’s arms. Our “friends” and acquaintances haven’t quite grown-up, although they are mostly in their mid-20s and early 30s. Most of them do not have the same values that we do and would rather drop their kids off at the in-laws and get drunk every weekend. — Hubby and I take our responsibility as parents very seriously; even more so, I think, because my step-son doesn’t live with us 100% of the time. So, the time we spend with him is something we want to be quality.–

Anyway… I have been so whiney and clingy and all over my husband this weekend. It seems like I can’t spend enough time with him, and when I do it’s like, we just plop down and watch a movie which involves basically NO talking at all. But, last night I broke down. How ever possible it may be that I have a moderate case of postpartum depression (PPD), I have been dealing with the loss of friendships, the trials of motherhood, and the feeling that my husband and I may be growing apart no matter how much we love each other. I cried and cried, and prayed, and talked about everything. About my lack of faith, my lack of motivation, my low self-esteem,… and let my husband just hold me and stroke my hair. It felt so good and relieving to just be open and not feel like I had to rush and get my thoughts out before we hopped on a plane again.

However, I woke up to the reality that tomorrow at 4:00 AM, he would be flying away from me and taking my heart with him. Being the wife that I am– always feeling like I need to be in complete control– with tears in my eyes, I begged him not to leave tomorrow then, immediately dismissed it and apologized profusely for asking. After all, a strong woman knows how to handle a busy man, right? Wrong. A strong woman knows when to tell her man she needs him, and right now, I need him.
Being the AMAZING person that he is– extremely patient and loving– he postponed his business trip for a week so that he could be home and take a virtual hiatus from the rat race of being a regional manager. We made plans to take our son mini-golfing before the first day of school and promised to make time for each other, reading, talking, and planning like we used to before I felt so tired and empty that I didn’t have anything left to give.

See, the one thing about Jon is that he is always out to make life better, more positive, and more family oriented. He is my anchor when I feel like the storm of life might just blow me away.

Gals, don’t every give up a man who makes you feel like life has a purpose. A man that makes you look forward to waking up in the morning and will make breakfast for your kids/take them to school just so you can get an extra hour of sleep. A man that’s not afraid to be blunt, or funny, or sensitive. It’s all worth it when a guy like that is by your side. ❤

Just to top it all of with whipped cream and a cherry, I went for a long interval speed walk/jog tonight (5 miles) while he watched the kids. I’ve felt like I’ve been at such a plateau in life lately, especially in my fitness. Taking my frustrations to the street and sweating them all out made me feel so weightless tonight. Like, I don’t have any energy to stress or worry and it’s a really ‘clean’ feeling.

What do you guys do when you’re stressed out? Anything in particular help you to wind down?

I find that there is nothing that a jog, a cocktail, and scrolling through a few pages of Pinterest can’t fix 🙂

 

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