Fear of Numbers

Okay, so I deserve the “Worst Blogger” award for the lack of interaction I’ve had with the family over here on WordPress and all of the lovely people who follow me on social media over the last week. However, I do have a good excuse… promise! Actually, it’s been more of an emergency than an excuse. My husband is recovering from  the virus H1N1, aka “swineflu”, that he contracted sometime within the last two weeks. He was noticeably ill on Wednesday, went to the hospital on Friday, and I have been on full-time nurse the entire duration. Fortunately, now, he is feeling a bit better and I think we will be able to take our trip to Ohio after all. But, obviously, since I’m not writing this from my car, aren’t on the way there yet.

Just a warning for all those skeptics out there, like me, who never ever get the flu shot: if you saw how sick my poor hubby has been, I bet you’d reconsider. Honestly, he has been in bed and in need of a non-stop caretaker for 5 days. I don’t even think I should mention the headaches, vomiting, hallucinations, and fever he’s had. I have never seen him, or any other grown man, taken down by a sickness so quickly, easily, or terribly. It’s been really scary!

But, I do want to let you know I’ve been thinking of you and, in particular, those of you who are with me on the front of healthy living. I know that a while back I promised to weigh in each Tuesday and talk about the progress I was making in losing some of my remaining baby weight before we try for our next… Well, as you have probably noticed, that was a failure. Turns out, I’m not too good at talking about how I’ve been doing each week with an online support group. You’d think, since I’m a blogger, that I’d be really open about my motivations, tips, and struggles but, it’s actually very hard for me.

Don’t get me wrong, I love to motivate people and try to inspire them to action (whether it’s a new makeup technique or book to read) in any way I can but, with weight loss and fitness… I get all clammed up and shy. I’ve been exploring the possible explanations for those feelings and the only thing I can come up with is that it’s because I’ve never really been comfortable in my own body; and now that I’ve had a child, I’m just now discovering what that body can look like and do. For better and for worse.

Recently, my husband and I decided to try to support each other by dieting together. We chose to do the HCG Diet plan, that I’m sure a lot of you have heard of before – if not tried. My mom has major success with this and I have also done it before. We determined that it was the fastest, safest, most effective way to get a jump start on our weight loss goals. {If you’d like to learn more about it click HERE. If you’re ready to try it, order HERE.}

So far, I’ve lost a little over 13 pounds and I feel really great. AND there is an every greater light at the end of the tunnel than getting to eat chocolate cake (almost) guilt free… Jon surprised me by booking us a cruise to the Bahamas! I’m so excited! Only a little over a month to go. 😀 “Woo hoo!!”, for getting to wear a bikini in February!

Pondering on the difference in my “new” body and my “old” one, it led me to the wondering about how so many different women can wear the same size. Or how woman of all sorts are confident in their own skin. I suppose the first step is identifying which you are…

But, after that, I think that it’s very important to establish the true enemy that robs you of happiness with your body. Or in my case, my body… And, along that line of thought, my conclusion is “THE NUMBER”.

Most of us girls are obsessed with the number that pops up on our scale or on the tag of our clothing. And if that number creeps up, even a little, we start to freak out and drink detox tea to get rid of extra bloat, check the calendar to see if our menstrual period is about to start, and amping up our exercise game. And lord forbid we have to go to a doctor’s appointment and be weighed!

But, in all of that anxiety and fear… where are we really getting? We might call it a burst of ambition but, isn’t it, in reality, just a comparison to what society views as socially acceptable and belief that the size four is the new 2…. and so on? For me, it’s picking apart the contrast between what my pre-baby body looked like and what it looks like now.

Practicing self acceptance is key when it comes to loving yourself. After all, if you can’t truly love who you are, how can you love others?

I have found that through blogging, experimenting with the way I fix myself up, trying to take compliments as they are and not pick them apart in order to degrade my looks…  I am a much more confident person. Focusing on the negative will only bring pain and sadness but, looking for the positive aspects of your personality and how you can make them shine through to your outward appearance can make all the difference. Let’s face it, we all have those little quirks (a birthmark, a crooked tooth…etc) that we wish we could live our life without but, when you look in the mirror at those flaws with an open mind they can suddenly become unique and attractive.


I want you to know that each and every one of you reading this are beautiful. Even if you have never struggled with how you look… or you have always had an unfavorable body image, continue searching for the beauty that’s within; and don’t be afraid to stand out. Before you know it, a couple of extra pounds become “curves” and that particular blemish becomes trademark.

Thinking of yourself admirably will help you to have a happier more satisfying life, healthier relationships, and will aid in avoiding the slump we could otherwise find ourselves in. It’s not all about dieting and exercising like crazy so we can look like the next Victoria’s Secret model. It’s about being the best version of ourselves we can be. 😉

Have a happy Tuesday, everyone!


One thought on “Fear of Numbers

  1. Amen to this! Thank you for the inspiring post =)
    I hope your husband feels better soon and I will reconsider getting a flu shot this season! yikes!
    I wish you a Merry Christmas and a great time on your trip!!


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